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Some of the most common behavioral problems in children
include:
- not doing chores
- back talking
- being disrespectful
- not getting homework done
- being mean to siblings
- school problems
What causes some of the most common behavioral problems in
children?
- lack of structure or guidance
- difficulties at home
- difficulties at school
- genetic predisposition
This is only a partial list, of course, of causes of common behavioral
problems in children, but it is a good start. Let's examine each of
these from a parenting standpoint.
Lack of structure or guidance that leads to behavioral
problems in children.
As parents, we cannot control our children, but we do have a vast
amount of influence. Our real job is to help our children develop self-control.
How do we do that?
We use structure and guidance to teach our children how the world works
and how they fit in in a productive and satisfying way. It may sound
simplistic, but time-honored structures such as
- regular dinnertimes
- bedtime routines
- family nights
- daily homework time
- and family play
can all be used in an intentional way to build a strong family
framework and teach children how to structure their time, manage their
emotions, work together as a team and build self-discipline. These all
contribute to developing self-control.
On the other hand
- regular unsupervised TV, movie, or music exposure
- unsupervised video game or computer usage
- lack of intentional character training
- lack of care given to the choosing of friends
- unsupervised free time
are current cultural norms that are working against you as a parent.
These problems you can control. Replace them with healthy alternatives.
Difficulties at home or school can cause common behavioral
problems in
children.
Some problems at home or school cannot be avoided. Life IS problems.
However, as parents, if we work to minimize the unnecessary problems in
our children's daily lives we go a longs ways towards minimizing the
personal
problems they develop.
The first trick to solving problems is in facing them. If your
child is
having behavioral problems at school, don't ignore those issues and
hope they are a phase. Talk to your child and the school. Find out
the
facts as best you can. Remember, your child is a young immature human
who can make mistakes without even realizing it. And remember that
teachers, administrators and other children are simply people, too,
with problems of their own.
Work to fix the school challenges you can and teach your child
problem solving skills for the problems that cannot be fixed.
Home problems can be trickier.
If your home is undergoing serious upheaval, such as divorce, illness,
moving, etc., now is the time for extra patience for everyone in the
family. Children especially don't have the experience or perspective to
handle highly emotional incidents well. Adults are often uncomfortable
about what to say or do in these challenging situations.
If that scenario sounds familiar to you, consider getting some outside
help through counseling, pastoral care or the wide range of parenting
resources available to you (books, classes, cd's). Look for another
parent you admire and ask them to mentor you through this difficult
season of life. Your strength or anxiety can get passed on to your
child, so it's
important you care for yourself first.
Genetic predisposition can add to behavioral problems in
children.
We all have genetic quirks we've inherited. Generally, we can learn
problem solving skills that can help us strengthen these weaknesses so
they are less of a bother or even no bother at all. Personal growth
should be a central pillar in each of us.
As a parent, you are in a great position to know your child and his
genetic makeup. Just make sure you don't let your child use this
information as an excuse for bad behavior. There are many great books
and resources (like this article) available to learn and practice
problem solving skills.
The same child who can so easily learn to problem solve with his video
game can also learn to do his homework and be respectful.
Want more information? Take a look at this helpful article entitled ”You’re making me crazy!” When You’re at the End of
Your Parenting Rope.
Related articles:
What to do with a child with very
serious behavior problems
Consequences in elementary
school for bad behavior
Behavior problems in school age
children
Teenage behavior modification
Behavior modification in children
Behavior modification strategies
Disclaimer:
Remember, I am giving you my thoughts as a long time parent, not as a
therapist. This website does not dispense professional, medical, or
legal advise.
Please consult a qualified professional about your own situation.
Colleen Langenfeld is a mother with over 25 years of parenting experience and helps other busy moms at http://www.paintedgold.com.
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