|
Send This Page To A Friend
What should be the consequences in elementary school for bad
behavior?
Is this something that has come up for you and your child? Every child
makes mistakes from time to time; that's certainly a normal part of
growing up.The the first thing you might want to ask yourself if your
child has a behavior related problem at school:
Is this an infrequent, honest mistake? Or do I see a pattern of bad
behavior coming from my child?
The answer to your question will help you determine the most helpful
consequences for your situation.
In other words, consequences for bad behavior should fit the
"elementary school crime".
Are we talking about...
- disrespectful behavior - talking back to a teacher.
- homework problems - losing assignments.
- behavior problems with peers - bullying or fighting.
- classroom problems - cheating, refusing to cooperate.
- problems at home related to school - refusing to get ready for
school in the morning or to do homework after school.
or simpler, more innocent behavior issues...
- talking too much in class.
- forgetting to have a pencil (or other supply) ready.
- leaving belongings where they don't belong or losing them at
school.
- excessive lunch trading and therefore not eating a healthy lunch.
- sneaking toys to school when you (the parent) have said not to
take them.
These are only partial lists, of course, but take a closer look at
them. The top list is revealing a student who is intentionally defiant.
The bottom list is talking about a child who is simply being a child -
immature and forgetful - but exhibiting regular development.
Intentionally defiant behavior is screaming for someone to step up and
take control away from the user. This is often a significant character
issue and
certainly a problem solving issue. In the second example,
while the bad behavior may be
somewhat unintentional, immature and innocent, (albeit selfish) it is
also
a character and maturity issue, and one that can often be solved just
by talking with the elementary child about the consequences of his
actions on himself and other people and explaining that he has an
important job to do - grow up well - and school is a vital part of
that. Blank chore charts or printable homework charts
often help with these types of behavior challenges.
Defiant behavior often needs more intervention. A structured program
featuring ways to break the established patterns of behavior such as
specific word choices can provide education and support for both the
child and the parent as they work towards success.
Consequences in elementary school for bad behavior.
Disrespectful, defiant behavior deserves a strong response. Losing of
privileges and making amends in some way are useful.
Simpler, unintentionally defiant elementary school behavior problems
should experience natural consequences. For example, last night my
elementary age daughter forgot her homework at school. She didn't "get
in trouble" as this has not been a pattern in any way, but we did want
her to be aware that she must remember to stay on top of her daily
responsibilities.
So, she did extra time on her piano lessons and reading; not as a
punishment, but as a reminder that the time designated "study time" is
important and will be kept even if she forgets her homework at
school. In addition, obviously, she will have twice the work to finish
tonight because she will have to catch up from yesterday's incomplete
work. That is a natural consequence.
Remember the important reason we use consequences in life is because we
love our children and want them to be able to handle the real world
when they grow up.
Protecting our children from consequences is NOT love, in fact, it's a
mean and unhealthy thing to do. Life IS consequences and we do our
children a huge favor when we allow them to fall and fail (within
reason) while they're still at home in our care.
For additional food for thought, try this article I really like
entitled Good Behavior is not “Magic”—It’s a Skill The Three
Skills Every Child Needs for Good Behavior.
Related articles:
What to do with a child with very
serious behavior problems
Common behavioral problems in
children
Behavior problems in school age
children
Teenage behavior modification
Behavior modification in children
Behavior modification strategies
Disclaimer:
Remember, I am giving you my thoughts as a long time parent, not as a
therapist. This website does not dispense professional, medical, or
legal advise.
Please consult a qualified professional about your own situation.
Colleen Langenfeld is a mother with over 25 years of parenting experience and helps other busy moms at http://www.paintedgold.com.
|
|
We enjoy and value feedback from our website visitors!
We also like to put visitor comments on our website for the benefit of other visitors.
If you submit comments, we ask your permission to share your comments on our website (see permission checkbox below).
We only ask for your name and email address in case we need to contact you for clarification.
Our strict privacy policy is that we will NOT share your name and email address with anyone else.
We will only use the first name and initial of your last name when saying where the comment or quote came from.
For example:
"This information was really useful!" - Jane S.
|
|
|
|
