|
There is a lot of available advice for parenting problem teenagers.
Could you use a little perspective in your parenting?
How do you know if your parenting efforts are being as effective as they can be?
Click now to visit my blog and together we can look at some of the most common stumbling blocks that happen in nearly every family plus ways to look at those challenges that can make a difference.
- How do you know what advice to follow?
- What information do you trust?
- Who do you listen to?
Excellent questions and just asking them makes you a smarter, more caring parent in my book.
After nearly 30 years of distilling parenting advice, here are some of my top ideas for parenting problem teenagers.
Educate yourself on parenting - especially on parenting problem teenagers.
You can't impart wisdom you don't have. Sometimes as parents, we don't know which way is right and we just hope our kids will figure it all out.
I have learned that rarely works.
I'll be honest with you. I don't like heartache. I don't like an anger-riddled home.
So I will move heaven and earth to find a solution or mix of solutions that will at least make things better, if not totally fix the problem.
I learned early on that it is silly to spend hundreds of dollars a month feeding and clothing a child only to refuse to invest in quality resources for parenting, emotional development and spiritual growth. These qualities are just as important as food and shelter when raising a competent, confident young adult. These resources will also help you create a satisfying homelife.
So libraries, bookstores, youth groups, chore/reward charts, educational cd's and parenting mentors have become my constant companions.
After all, if I want to raise my teens to be exceptional adults, I need to be working on being an exceptional parent. Or at least I need to be headed in that direction.
Here's an excellent article to start you on your parenting education adventure. How to Keep the Violence Out of Your Home
Advice for parenting problem teenagers who don't want to be parented.
This is very tough, I'm not going to lie to you. You may even recognize that your influence has been severely diluted or ignored.
This is when the concept of tough love for teenagers becomes all the more important.
Tough love is not about being mean to your problem teenager. Part of tough love is about being an adult and treating him as an adult, too.
With a full-on dose of reality.
For example...
-
if your teen is disrespectful, she cannot bring that disrespect into your home. Period.
-
If your teen is defiant and refuses to follow the family rules, then he is stating he doesn't want to be a part of your remarkable family. Yes, that IS what defiant behavior is saying. Telling him this fact means he can make more mature and intelligent choices.
Does this seem incredibly sad and harsh to you as a parent? Take heart, Mom or Dad. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
In reality, these are vital lessons children need to learn from the time they are small. These are life lessons designed to protect a family and guide children towards maturity.
If your teenager has missed these important lessons, you will need to teach them now.
And, yes, your problem teenager will probably complain. Loudly! To keep you on a steady path, here's the truth. These lessons are not optional if your teenager wants to live a decent life. After all, respect is not just a part of family life. It's an integral part of being a part of the human community.
Let's do a reality check.
Can you force your problem teenager to learn these lessons? No. The choice is hers. Your job, as a parent, is to present the life lesson. And not back down. Cry, fuss, and complain all you want behind the scenes (a good reason to be using a parenting mentor). But stand strong for your teen.
You may need to investigate some sort of a program for troubled teens. Do what you must do.
That is tough love.
Any advice for parenting problem teenagers is going to be tough if it's going to work.
You're going to need support. Arm yourself with excellent parenting resources. Find a parenting mentor, as I referenced above, that you trust and respect.
You can do this! I have complete faith in your ability to do what's right for your precious teenager.
More parenting articles for you.
Tough Love for Teenagers
Out of Control Teens
Program for Troubled Teens
Problems of Many High School Dropouts
Colleen Langenfeld is a mother with over 25 years of parenting experience and helps other busy moms at http://www.paintedgold.com.
|
|
We enjoy and value feedback from our website visitors!
We also like to put visitor comments on our website for the benefit of other visitors.
If you submit comments, we ask your permission to share your comments on our website (see permission checkbox below).
We only ask for your name and email address in case we need to contact you for clarification.
Our strict privacy policy is that we will NOT share your name and email address with anyone else.
We will only use the first name and initial of your last name when saying where the comment or quote came from.
For example:
"This information was really useful!" - Jane S.
|
|
|
|
